What We Think We Deserve

I was a really skinny kid. In high school I ran cross country and track and was in fairly good shape. When I joined the Navy I continued to ride that wave. I rarely worked out if ever. I did my semi-annual physical training test and passed without much effort. I never had a problem with my weight no matter what or how much I ate. Then, I hit my 30^th birthday and that wave crashed on the rocks…HARD! Now, every six months I’m scrambling to lose those last few pounds before my weigh-in. The last few years I have been regularly exercising and watching my diet. I routinely run between 18-23 miles per week and I’m still about 10 pounds over what the Navy says I can weigh. What is even more frustrating is seeing some of the folks around me eat whatever they want, rarely, if ever, exercise and are skinny as rails! I have been working my tail off for years! I even ran a marathon for crying out loud! It is not fair that I have to work so hard for so little and others can eat whatever they want, never work out, and never have any problems with their weight or fitness.

In Matthew 20, Jesus tells a story about a landowner who hired several workers to work his vineyard. The ones that he hired early in the day were hired with the understanding that they would be paid a day’s wage. When the landowner paid the ones that were hired later in the day the same amount as the ones he hired early in the day, the ones who had worked longer were angry because they felt that they deserved more than the others since they had worked longer.

There are times when we feel like we are entitled to certain things from God because we serve Him. We go to church. We pray. We read our Bibles. We serve our communities. We love our families. But when we see someone that has more and does less for God, we become envious or question why God has apparently blessed someone more than us. As sinners, we love the account of the thief on the cross next to Christ (Luke 23: 39-43). To know that our redemption is not dependant on our works but on recognition of His sacrifice for us is a very comforting thought. But how do we view other sinners in light of the work that we do for the Kingdom? Do we feel like we deserve a higher place in heaven because we led a Bible study or worked in a soup kitchen or built a church in a developing country?

Our pastor’s daughter died a couple of years ago. She was such a beautiful lady, a devoted servant of God, and an absolute joy to be around. She did not deserve to have cancer invade her body and suffer the pain of a slow and agonizing death. Her parents who have served God for over 40 years did not deserve to have to watch their daughter suffer and die. How is that fair?

A friend of mine once told me that God is NOT fair. If God was fair, we would all burn in hell for our sin. THAT is what we deserve.The question that we really need to ask ourselves when these thoughts start creeping in is, “does God love me less than someone who has more “blessings” than I do?” The answer is no. He died for all of us. He suffered the same penalty for each of us equally. So, then the question becomes “am I seeking the Giver or the gift?” Do I only love God because of what I hope He might do for me or do I love Him for what He has already done?  Do I serve Him because He is worth my service? Do I love Him because He first loved me? Matthew 6:33 “But seek first HIS kingdom and HIS righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”

Getting Recharged

In my last two posts I was in a recovery mode from an injury. The time that I spent running was limited so that I could heal and regain strength. This week I seem to be back to full steam...mostly. It would have been very easy to allow the injury to completely derail my workouts. It does for many people. A few days on the couch turns into a couple of weeks. After a month, the thought of working out brings back those agonizing memories from starting a workout plan all over again...motrin, ice, limping, moaning. Sometimes we negotiate a deal to simply eat healthier and forego the workouts. In my case that is laughable! I have a particular weakness for bacon and wings.

I think we do this in our spiritual lives too. I wrote in a previous blog about getting burned out. Some of us just decide that we'll pray, read our bibles, and go to church, and little more. While these things are vital, I would equate it to "hiding your light under a basket" as the scripture says. The phrase "I'll pray for you" seems to be a common utterance and probably more equal to "the check is in the mail."

Don't get me wrong. Sometimes prayer is the ONLY thing we can do; When we have a sick friend or family member; when someone is in need of financial provision and it is just not in our budget to help. But I have heard for years that we need to pray for revival in the church. Okay. I'll buy that, but I think if we pray for strength, wisdom, and guidance for ourselves, we can go into the world and use what God has given us to instigate a revival. Think about Peter on the day of Pentecost. Powered by the Holy Spirit, Peter spoke to the masses and thousands were added to their number. He didn't wait for God to add them.

Imagine a dead battery. It is pretty useless. Kind of like us when we're burned out or injured. Now put that battery in a charger (prayer, bible study, meditation, etc). Whatever we use the battery for cannot be used until it is charged, but while it is being charged, it is still pretty useless. Sometimes it is great to just sit in the charger. Why would Moses ever want to come down off that mountain? But the work of God is not getting done by us as long as we're on the charger. Either someone else is doing it (and getting burned out) or it's not getting done at all.

Think about it this way. David did not slay Goliath from his knees. Nehemiah did not build a wall from his knees. Joshua did not lead his army to victory from his knees. Every one of these warriors unplugged once they were fully charged and did what needed to be done with the power that they had been given. We cannot bring the Gospel to our neighbors, co-workers, children, or communities until we unplug from the charger, come down from the mountain, and GET OFF OUR KNEES.

To paraphrase Francis of Assissi (I think), "Pray as if everything depends on God, for it does. Work as if everything depends on you, for it does."

...but don't forget to plug back in...

Get Up And Go!

I don’t intend on blogging every day, but my brain was particularly noisy this morning and hasn’t quieted much since.  I was walking this morning because I’m still recovering from that pulled ligament last week. While I was walking, I was listening to scripture. In Matthew 9 Jesus comes across a paralyzed man. He forgave the man’s sins and instructed him to get up and go home.  There is so much in this event to talk about, but I want to focus on a couple of things.

What sin had this man committed that had rendered him paralyzed? I have a friend that I have repeatedly invited to a bible study. He keeps declining the invitation because, according to him, he wants to get some things in his life straightened out before he gets involved in bible studies or church. He doesn’t want to feel like a hypocrite because he smokes and swears and drinks occasionally. I would say that he has allowed the condition of his heart to paralyze his spiritual growth. In my blog yesterday, I wrote that I was so disillusioned by the actions and words of others in the church that I allowed my spiritual growth to be paralyzed.

When Jesus tells us that our sins are forgiven, he has removed the thing that paralyzed our growth. I find it interesting that once this man’s sins were forgiven and whatever was holding him back was removed, Jesus still had to tell him to get up and go. I think about a dog in a yard with one of those invisible fences. The dog wears a collar that gives him a shock if he beyond a certain point. Eventually, the dog learns where the boundaries are and doesn’t go beyond them. After several years of having this collar on, what happens when we remove it? Nothing. The dog has become so accustomed to living within these boundaries that he is afraid to go beyond them. That is, until the Master tells him that it is okay.  Go.

Sometimes as Christians, we are afraid to “go”. We are bound by fear or pride or shame of our past or *insert shock collar here*. We behave as if we are still paralyzed even though our sins are forgiven. We act as if the shock collar is still on even though the Master has removed it. I think about times when I’ve been convicted of something that I had done. Depending on the severity, sometimes I’m so ashamed that I can’t even bring myself to ask God for forgiveness, much less the person I hurt. When I quiet the shame enough to hear His voice say, “Your sins are forgiven,” it still feels like I can’t move. Then He says, “Now GET UP AND GO!”

What is paralyzing you today? Know this. Jesus is the Great Physician that heals the paralyzed. He is the Master. He forgives your sins and removes the collar that is keeping you bound. Seek His forgiveness and you will have it. The collar has been removed. NOW GET UP AND GO!

Rest and Recovery

I have a good friend and former co-worker who is a marathoner. He is in outstanding physical condition. He was the one who inspired and trained me for my first marathon. A couple of years ago he came to work limping. It turns out that he had a stress fracture from overuse. I couldn't fathom how someone in such great shape could have an overuse injury. That is an injury that under-trained people get when they do too much too soon. Then, last week, I pulled a ligament in my knee. I had only slightly intensified my workouts, but it was just enough to warrant the injury. I took a week off. Pampered my knee with ice, heat, motrin, elevation, and rest. This morning I took an easy 2 mile jog and felt great. I'll take another day off and try another 2 in a couple of days. I'm going to ease back into it so that I don't re-injur it and have to take more time off to heal.

I was thinking about this in context of my spiritual life and my involvement in church activities. I've seen so many people (including myself) become burned out, frustrated, and disillusioned with "the church" that they not only walk away from the church, but from God as well. We become so entrenched in the activities of the church that we forget the reason why we've involved ourselves in God's work. At some point, we just run out of gas. My time running is my alone time with God and my time to fuel up. I listen to scripture, worship, and pray. While that time is vital, it is also important to understand our limitations as humans.  When I'm running a marathon I burn about 2600-3000 calories and about 3-4 liters of water. Not only does this mean that I have to properly fuel up BEFORE the race, but I have to replenish DURING the race as well. But the good thing is that the marathon is finite. It has a finish line. Then, I take a couple of weeks off to recover. Since not everyone is a marathoner, let me put it another way:   If I'm driving across the country and stop every 100 miles and put $5 worth of gas in the car, I'm eventually going to run out of gas.

The time that we spend with God fuels us to do His work. If we don't properly maintain the vehicle (our bodies, minds, and spirits), we will run out of gas or worse. Think about what happens to your car if you don't change the oil regularly or rotate/balance/align the tires. That time we spend with God has to be in balance with the time that we are involved with ministries.

So, what does a vehicle that needs some maintenance look like? For those of us who are volunteers in ministry, I would look for a few things:

1) Frustration - we all have some degree of frustration with the ministries we are involved in. That's why we try to make things better, more efficient, more Christ-centered, less business-like, etc. I know some of those things seemed to contradict each other, but contextual application applies. The breaking point is when we are more frustrated than fulfilled in the ministry. Frustration leads to anger. Anger leads to...

2) Bitterness - This one is a red flag! One of the blessings and curses of being involved in ministry is dealing with people. We, yes, even Christians, are very flawed. We are just as selfish, arrogant, possessive, and controlling as the rest of the world. Dealing with those people (assuming that you've done the proper amount of self-examination to determine that YOU aren't that person) can be especially aggravating and can really drive volunteers out. Express your concerns to the leadership and come up with a viable solution. Be prepared for that solution to be you leaving that area of ministry or even that particular church.

3) Disillusion - This one is REALLY bad. This is the one that not only drives people away from the church, but away from God. This is where we blame the problems of the church on God. We see Christians hurt other Christians and decide that if this is how the "family" of God treats each other, then we're better off in the world. If this behavior is representative of the God we serve, then we're better off in the world.

Unfortunately, not only have I seen this many times in the church, but I've experienced it first hand. I never got to the point where I've walked away from God, but I've come pretty close. I had become so frustrated and bitter about some things that were going on at my church that I was begging God to let us leave the church. I had stepped back from all of the ministries I was involved in, but I was still watching them do things that I so passionately disagreed with. I kept asking God to let us leave. His response kept coming back, "Changing the scenery isn't going to change your heart." So, I continued to occupy a pew...and little more. I had stopped reading my bible, listening to worship music, even praying. I hadn't left the church, but I hadn't changed my heart either.

Fortunately, it didn't take a Demascus moment or a major breakdown to get me to realize what was happening. I just didn't like feeling the way I was feeling. I missed my previous relationship with the Lord. Like a runner recovering from an injury, I started out slow. I began to pray and seek. God started to reveal Himself more and more to me. I didn't immediately jump back into the race. I didn't get back into any kind of ministry for several months. I needed to "get back into shape". I needed to have a right heart, properly trained, and fueled. What I found was that God gave me a burning passion for an area of ministry that I hadn't planned on. It wasn't the area that had originally burned me out.

The thing to remember is that this is a marathon, not a sprint. Keep in mind that a marathon has a finish line. We say that the race isn't over until we've received our reward in heaven. True. But I would encourage people who are involved in ministry to put a timeline on the area you are involved in. When that mile marker has passed, evaluate whether you want to stick with it or is God prompting you to another area? When you finish with one marathon, take a break. Recover. Refuel. Then start training for the next one. Maybe He is prompting you to only do a  half-marathon or a 10K next. Maybe, He's prepping you for the Ultra! Maybe, He doesn't want you to run at all. Perhaps He wants you to start cycling or swimming or all three! Keep your enthusiasm for service fresh and motivation new. Don't pigeon-hole yourself into doing only one thing. What will you do if you get burned on that one thing?

Okay. This is kind of long for my first post. Future posts probably won't be that long.